The LHC and the Fear of the Unknown.

“When the world ends, don’t be caught with your unwashed knickers.” – Fourteen.

Of course I haven’t yet included that line in the book. Fourteen being the God-ish narrator of the the first chapter. But I have scheduled it for a later time this year. I assume I should be able to get time enough to insert it in, you know as a line everyone will go “aww” and “awesome” for.

However book writing asides aside, eschatologically speaking, taking into consideration every person howmuchever of an atheist he might aver himself to be, the end, apparently, might be near. And in eschatological terms, that means, shit will happen!

And it’s probably a bad idea to be caught up in the most massive of messes with soiled knickers. So I do hope, if it turns out tomorrow being the 10th of September, 2008 CE be D-Day, God, if you’re there, let me not have time to shit myself.

These things come in snide little packages. Like that song? “Afternoon Delight”? If you still don’t know, the song is about daytime lovemaking, the naughty kind. Ah more info in case you need it before time, as we are used to whiling away, whiles us away.

Point in consideration being that time when everyone felt the atmosphere would catch on fire if a nuclear bomb was tested. That didn’t quite transpire as planned, but what did come out was a series of apocalyptic films about how the lead characters would very cool, and no one would listen to the earnest little professor with his very many charts who is protesting against government or privately-funded experiments; you know the kind of thing like what is going on right now in that politically neutral country where all those horrible Bollywood films were shot in the ‘90s?

Well anyway, it turns out, the world does care for modernist science as long as it threatens to kill us all, one fell swoop or otherwise. The rest of the time, not assuming there will be a rest-of-the-time after tomorrow, it happily cruises on through reality with pre-modernism. Boobs and nob-heads all.

I suppose I should give out some well meaning advice too, even though, fewer people, than I would have liked, seem to be spooked about the possibility of micro-black holes being created in some lab on earth. I mean how can you be so calm about this when you freak about that stupid Saturn mal-influence thing that went on for ages on all the TV channels?
Anyway, no point going about killing everyone, raping everyone (even if that means you die a virgin), looting shops and the like because the possibility of alleviating and justifying circumstances arising tomorrow is still rather low, and those of you looking like an arse and being fried on the hotseat, consequently, much much higher.

So, spook some other people, drink, do crack, eat yourself fat, do whatever it is that you would usually do at the start of the month when your inhibitions have been lowered by the last month’s ending.

But I do hope I don’t have to hear someone in my primetime afterlife going on about how they told us all so.

God if you’re there, don’t be.